Civil Litigation Attorney Kelley Brook Simoneaux Shares About Marriage and Motherhood
For women with disabilities, there are very little material -- whether it be books, blogs, or support groups -- on the topic of marriage and motherhood. The two topics can be scary for anyone -- able-bodied or otherwise. But for women with disabilities, there are widespread and damaging stigmas like the idea that they can’t possibly birth their own child or get married to their dream man.
This makes the content that we are developing all the more important. In one of our earliest podcast episodes, we interviewed civil litigation attorney and mother of two Kelley Brook Simoneaux. We discussed the logistics of balancing being a mother in a wheelchair with a demanding full-time job as an attorney in Washington DC.
Simoneaux was in a car accident when she was sixteen. The crash left her as a paraplegic after sustaining a spinal cord injury. In the first couple years that followed the accident, Simoneaux had a tightknit support group of close family and friends who never doubted her ability to live a normal life. This support led Simoneaux to chase her dreams of attending law school. Later, as she fully adapted to her new normal, she became engage to her significant other. Following a fairytale wedding, the two decided to adopt their first child and naturally birth their second child.
Don’t Let Anyone Tell You No
In her conversation with us, Simoneaux was adamant to other members of the disability community: don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do it. Whether that be going to law school, marriage, adopting a child, or even birthing a child. Everything is possible with careful research and support -- especially from your physician.
Simoneaux was quick to press the importance of finding a community. For her, the worries she had when pregnant with her son were alleviated by the Facebook groups she joined in the greater Washington DC area. Through the groups, she connected with women who had similar stories. Her fears were answered by kind women who offered help and support leading up to the final days before her son’s birth. This experience is what has led Simoneaux to advocate for more content for mothers and wives with disabilities in mainstream media.
There are far too many women with disabilities that have children or spouses for aspiring mothers to have dig through the internet to find a couple of obscure blog posts.
The Logistics of Being a Spouse
Simoneaux was quick to point out the wonderful support she receives from her spouse on a daily basis. The two both have full time jobs that they juggle around caring for their two children [and now three children with the arrival of a third child in 2021]. In the past five years, they have discovered a dynamic that works well.
From her husband’s perspective, Simoneaux knew that he would never doubt her abilities and would never do something without asking if she would rather do it herself. The confidence he has in her abilities is something that Simoneaux prizes and regards as necessary to making a marriage work between someone who is able-bodied and someone who has a disability.
On the flip side, Simoneaux had to be willing to make some compromises with herself and realize that she has some limitations that cannot easily be overcome. She advises that part of the magic of a secure relationship is not having to bear the burden of completing every task by herself, but instead focusing on the things that she can do well.
The Logistics of Being a Mother
As for motherhood, Simoneaux explained that her role as a mother is no different than her able-bodied friends. She recalls the airplane flights, soccer games, and other events she has attended like any other mother would.
She did acknowledge that there are unique challenges to being a mother in a wheelchair, but there is nothing that is too difficult to overcome.
As for her children? Simoneaux smiled and said that young children adapt to their normal. They don’t know any differently, and they are still able to participate in life just as a toddler with an able-bodied mom would be able to.
Want to listen to Kelley Brook Simoneaux in her own words? Check out Traipsin’ Global on Wheel’s podcast channel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ku4xKQXmklE
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